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IT vittigheder & jokes

At Java kan bruges på alle OS er det samme som at sige analsex er godt da det kan bruge på begge køn!

Why did the Integer drown? Cos he couldn't Float!

Have you heard a java programmer who broke up with his girl friend because he treats her like an object?

#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) — Shakespeare

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.


Bunch of computer science majors were listening to a lecture about java programming at a university. After the lecture a man leaned over his front to reach for a women's breast.
Woman: "Hey! It's private OK!?"
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: "But I thought we were in the same class?"

$ /osama/bin/laden
sh: /osama/bin/laden: not found
(OBL, being eminently "executable", is obviously found in a "bin" directory!)

Session Bean walks into a bar and asks for a Jack Daniels on the rocks...bartender says "I'm afraid I can't serve you any alcohol", and the Session Bean says, "why not ? Are you discriminating against Session Beans ?" and the bartender replies "well, look at the state you're in".

A bunch of 17 year olds - ClassCast, IllegalArgument and ArrayOutOfBounds - decide to chance their arm, and try and get served at the bar. The Bartender takes one look at them, and asks them for ID. ClassCast hands over his fake ID, IllegalArgument hands over his brother Throwable's ID, but ArrayOutOfBounds doesn't have any fake ID. The Bartender says "Sorry guys, you'll have to leave unless I can see some ID". ClassCast pleads with the barman "can't you just bend the rules for us ?" and the barman says "Sorry, no Exceptions".

Two session beans in love are sitting cuddled close together:
"Oh Jarling, my Singleon!", the female session bean exclaims.
"Let's go Home and Make love.", the male session bean replies.
"But we can't", the female session bean says. "I don't want to create() new() instances."
"Don't worry" the male session bean replies with a smile. "My constructor is protected."

Two female entity beans are talking at the bar:
"Hey, have you seen that handsome session bean at the other end of the bar.", the first entity bean says.
The second one, known for being cynical, replies:
"He's probably just a cute Facade and no Content. Besides, he can't keep up a conversation. He's stateless."

yo mama's so fat... she get an ArrayOutOfBoundException!
yo mama's so po... she does garbage collection for a living!
yo mama's so ugly... her java.lang.reflect took down the mirror site!


My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

DEBUGGING : Removing the needles from the haystack.

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.

COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.

It's 5:50 a.m., Do you know where your stack pointer is?

If God had intended humans to program, we would be born with serial I/O ports.

You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.

"It's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages."